I hope they all lose! Well for Mayor anyways. Let's say the vote is split 4 ways, each candidate garnering 25% of the vote. We then establish an alternative tie-break procedure. The 2 oldest will square off in a nude wrestling match in an over-sized bowl of pistachio pudding. Let's see, that would be Kastner at 77, long, lean and mean.. He'd be up against I think it's Gwen Gilbert, who I believe turns 93 in January. She'll be sure to fire off deadly-researched shots to the solar plexus of poor Paul. Let's give Fight #1 to the lady.
Next, on the undercard probably, we see Knobby-Knees Carl up against Bad-Hat John. Let's pit them against one another in a shoe-kicking battle. You know, when you balance your loosened shoe on the top of your foot, half off and fire it across the yard. Release too late and the bugger goes vertical and lands on your head. So let's say that Noble wins that one. His boots might be covered in manure, but his vast experience in kicking ass has strengthened his kicking leg vastly.
That leaves shaky Noble versus Studious Gilbert in a match worthy of 2 finalists. They have a debate on the topic of morality and integrity. Noble begins the match with a parry of rights, accusing his opponent of shadowing innocent fireguys. Gilbert counters with Noble's insult to women a few years ago in the doctor recruitment discussions. OOmph! That one hurt! Thought you'd all forgot about that one. Noble gets up off the canvas and deals a low blow on Gwenny-Poo. You're a Mormon, he brazenly shouts out. How many men are you living with this week? Gilbert is staggered considerably. Checking her notes, she comes up with a final flurry of thrusts. Yeah,Carl, well you support women's hockey, right? Everyone knows that most women hockey players are gay. That's evil and in so following, so are you!
The bell sounds. Gilbert loses through self-incrimination. Careless Carl rules the roost once again, spitting vile insults and performing autonomous acts that would make a Nun blush.
Nah, I was right. I hope they all lose. Or maybe more likely one of them will win and we'll all lose.
PREDICTION-Gwen Gilbert-50% of the vote (female)
Other 3 Guys-Will share other 50% (male)