Back before I left the big smoke, I woke up one peaceful Bathurst-St.Clair middle-night to find a dazed lug standing in my bedroom doorway. "Can I have $20?" he said, and I said "No!" and he looked at me all confused and left. Two nights later neighbours of mine had a similar early-hours visitation, only they were slaughtered on the spot and left for the police to find. I moved out to Caledon that month, and from there up to Sauble.

And if you ask me, I think I'd rather the bears thankyouverymuch.

Shortly after we moved here the morning radio weather lady told of how she'd come home one day to find her door ajar, and fearing burglars, called the OPP who popped round, checked it out, and emerged to say, "You been robbed, ma'am. Took everything in the fridge and chewed up the sofa really bad." -- I told a local-raised friend of mine about the Toronto walk-in shooting and how they just opened the door to the point of a shotgun. "Man oh man, if that happened 'round here," he said, "At least I'd know 'em."

One last one, I promise: Old Annie was a den mother for a lot of Toronto folkies back in the 70's, feed us, give us floor space to crash. Lived up in Etobicoke in a line of run down apartment blocks. One day two big fellas came to the door and said, "You better find some place else to live." and dumped her out, no help, no thanks for the decades of your rental business, just a get-out and good luck with the apartment hunting all alone at age 70-something.

I've been around this great earth some, and I ain't never seen a bear do that to nobody.