I hope they all lose! Well for Mayor anyways. Let's say the vote is split 4 ways, each candidate garnering 25% of the vote. We then establish an alternative tie-break procedure. The 2 oldest will square off in a nude wrestling match in an over-sized bowl of pistachio pudding. Let's see, that would be Kastner at 77, long, lean and mean.. He'd be up against I think it's Gwen Gilbert, who I believe turns 93 in January. She'll be sure to fire off deadly-researched shots to the solar plexus of poor Paul. Let's give Fight #1 to the lady.
Next, on the undercard probably, we see Knobby-Knees Carl up against Bad-Hat John. Let's pit them against one another in a shoe-kicking battle. You know, when you balance your loosened shoe on the top of your foot, half off and fire it across the yard. Release too late and the bugger goes vertical and lands on your head. So let's say that Noble wins that one. His boots might be covered in manure, but his vast experience in kicking ass has strengthened his kicking leg vastly.
That leaves shaky Noble versus Studious Gilbert in a match worthy of 2 finalists. They have a debate on the topic of morality and integrity. Noble begins the match with a parry of rights, accusing his opponent of shadowing innocent fireguys. Gilbert counters with Noble's insult to women a few years ago in the doctor recruitment discussions. OOmph! That one hurt! Thought you'd all forgot about that one. Noble gets up off the canvas and deals a low blow on Gwenny-Poo. You're a Mormon, he brazenly shouts out. How many men are you living with this week? Gilbert is staggered considerably. Checking her notes, she comes up with a final flurry of thrusts. Yeah,Carl, well you support women's hockey, right? Everyone knows that most women hockey players are gay. That's evil and in so following, so are you!

Oct.31/2006

A few political ramblings:
-Why don't we allow all voters in SBP to vote for 2 council members, one from their one riding and one at large. This way I/you could vote for (or against...) the councillor that we see fit. One member from each riding would have to be allowed on council, at least to give the illusion of parity.
-Hey, why don't we vote for and seat 2 mayors too? That way when one is away at a meeting, a little too drunk to attend, or just mentally absent, the other could pick up the slack.
-We should make it mandatory for all members voted to (esp. Municipal) office to wear a GPS a under the skin of their left ankle. Therefore all levels of corruption could be more closely monitored by all...maybe on a web-cam on this site. "Here's the money Mr. Disgruntled and Harassed Municipal Employee." No more secrets. "Sure I'll take that Windmill Windfall without allowing anyone else a chance at so doing....Oops! Could anyone hear that..nah, probably just the cows."
-How about Mandatory IQ tests to deem elegibility to even run? A reading test at least. Something like, "Name 2 newspapers available in our region BESIDES The Echo and The Some Times."
-Do you think more or less people will vote with Mail-in ballots? I think it'll be fewer-much fewer. Heck, I couldn't tell you what in the world I've done with that ballot now....litter box? Paper airplane? Homemade cigarette package?

Jethro Journal, Oct. 16th,2006:
Howdy...
went to all candidates meeting last Thursday
...talk about entertainment!

There you had sad-sack Noble, looking like the cow that just ate the farmer, Gwen Gilbert with all her splendiforous notes that she could barely read, Kastner barely able to stay awake, and John Close speaking without moving his lips.

The mudslinging from the floor garnered many a fruitless response from our not-so-able-minded crew. I had some real questions to ask (like eliminating non-essential pesticides and encouraging non-polluting power sources) but I dared not venture into the land of reality with these folks. The horror. We might make some real decisions.

Dan Kerr, who I'd only heard negative things about, was the surprising bright light of the night. Seemingly forthright, quite articulate, and a dynamo at public speaking, Mr. Kerr has so far earned the only check mark on my ballot sheet. I hope to attend "Screw the Lady Candidate-Part Deux" this Friday in beautiful downtown Mar.

*the above entry was written on said date, published today, my birthday, Oct.28th.

Oct. 28th,2006

Hello ...

got shut out in mar. No room for a nosey Area-4 guy I guess. A Lady at the door actually said to me (assuming, I'm supposing that I'm a local Albemarlian),"If all these Area 2 folks would leave, we'd all have room to sit down."